


Into the Deep We Go (Baby, Til I Drown)

by CobaltStargazer



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Cheating, F/F, Hotel Sex, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 13:07:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4836503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CobaltStargazer/pseuds/CobaltStargazer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex knows what Erin likes. Even when they both sort of wish she didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Into the Deep We Go (Baby, Til I Drown)

**Author's Note:**

> If you want context, I suggest checking out the song Into The Deep by Galactic and Macy Gray. It's my latest new favorite thing. ;-)

_Same as it ever was, same as it ever was..._

The lyric ran through Alex's head over and over as she sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the closed bathroom door. The water hadn't started yet. She could picture Erin standing in the tub, maybe with her back to the wall, kicking herself for letting this happen again. For making it happen

The brunette looked at the silent television, then at her clothes where they were draped over a chair. _You didn't come back for this, remember? You took that vacancy to finish putting your career back together, not so you could go back to screwing her brains out._

Alex shut off the train of thought with an effort, quieting it as she padded towards the closed door. She suspected that Garcia suspected, that the hacker had spotted her exiting that hotel before she'd returned to the BAU. There had to have been a reason the blonde had seemed so frazzled the first time they'd met. The linguist had been concerned, at first, that people would start to talk, but apparently Garcia had decided to keep whatever she knew to herself. Small favors were not to be overlooked.

She and Erin had spent most of the afternoon in bed, and now the sky was darkening with the setting of the sun. That was the worst part, in a way, that the sex was better than ever, and given what Alex remembered that shouldn't have been possible. Maybe it was just the passing years, the added knowledge of physicality, not just the emotional connection. She hovered at the door for a moment, then turned the knob.

"Thinking about your transgressions, Erin?"

"You know better."

The blonde was standing in front of the mirror, and she met Alex's gaze in the reflective surface. She had yet to turn on the shower, although she'd pulled a towel off of the rack on the wall. This was less than an affair, but more than a tryst, and though she didn't know what the brunette thought, to her it was like coming home. David was a dear man, and she enjoyed being with him, but there was some unnamed need that had led her back here. She was still studying Alex in the mirror, watching the brunette lean against the doorjamb. There was a rapidly purpling mark on the linguist's left breast. Erin hadn't fully inspected herself yet, but she felt like there was probably a corresponding one on the inside of one of her thighs. Her mouth quirked into a slightly unwilling smile.

"Can you stay the night? The kids are with their father for the weekend, so I was planning to stay here." She'd considered selling the house after the divorce, but hadn't done it yet. She and Paul had had _some_ good years in that house, and the children still considered it home, more or less.

"No." Alex shook her head definitively. "I want to sleep in my own bed tonight. I get enough of hotels when I'm working."

That was the truth, but only part of it. James was in Vancouver at a conference, so the house in Georgetown was empty at night except for her. But she was trying to maintain a handhold, to _not_ throw herself into this...whatever it was ass-over-teakettle the way she'd done before. When you'd been burned as badly as she had, you learned to keep your hand away from the big hot thing. Even when you were maybe still more than a little in love with the big hot thing.

Erin accepted the refusal in silence, but she averted her gaze. They were still working out what they were doing here, if it was just sex or if it was a relationship. She knew Alex still loved her husband, and given the events of the past she was reluctant to ask the brunette for any concessions at all. Even just to stay overnight.

Alex would have laughed if she hadn't felt so guilty. Whatever Erin meant to her, there was a thread of Something that was always there, underneath the surface. Just being in the same office with her again, seeing her in the halls, sometimes pulled the breath right out of her. She couldn't rationalize it or understand it, but it was there.

"When do you have to go?"

"Not for a couple of hours yet." It was the beginning of spring, and the trees had begun to sprout leaves after the mild winter. Beyond the glass of the balcony window, the sun was an orange ball. Alex pushed off from the doorjamb, stepped further into the bathroom. The door snicked shut behind her.

"Were you going to take a show, or...."

Erin looked over her shoulder, and her expression was reluctantly vulnerable. She felt guilty about David in a way she hadn't about Paul, but when she'd already spent so time thrashing around in bed with the woman behind her, it was hard to resist the urge to do a little more thrashing. Alex pressed against her, then cupped her breasts from behind. The blonde made a soft noise when a pair of thumbs rolled over her nipples, leaning back a notch.

"You know what you're doing to me, right?"

Erin lifted her head, looked in the mirror. The linguist had always had a quietly dominant streak, something that came out usually just when there was about to be a break in a case. But like this, when they were both naked and she already had a hickey on the inside of her thigh? The blonde reached behind her, put her hand on the other woman's hip. Somehow they managed to fumble their way into the tub, and one of them pulled the shower curtain closed as the other turned the water on. Turned it on hot, and steam wafted out of the enclosed space. 

Alex pinned Erin's wrists above her head with one hand, holding them gently in place as she ran her other palm down the blonde's flank. "Look at me." The other woman was normally so controlled, so remote, that making her come undone was a reward all its own. "Come on, honey, let me see those beautiful eyes."

Blue-green eyes looked into darker ones, and her folds were slick when Alex touched her, then opened her up to push inside. Her trapped hands opened and closed, and she pushed her hips forward. 

" _Alex_..."

"When have I not taken care of you?" If there was mockery in the brunette's voice, it was barely audible. Because there _were_ feelings here, and even though they were still half-buried under an avalanche of old hurt, they were busily trying to dig themselves out. Under the hot spray of the water, the brunette slanted her mouth over the other woman's insistently, and here there was no past and no future, only the Immediate Now. She still had Erin's hands pinioned above her head, watching the flush on her face spread to her breasts. 

When Erin came, her knees sagged, and it was only the press of Alex's body that kept her from slipping to the bottom of the tub. The brunette kissed her neck, blew gently into her ear, then let go of her wrists to palm a breast. The blonde hooked her chin over the other woman's shoulders, eyes closed as she worked to catch her breath.

"Are you all right?" 

"I am very much all right." The blonde's voice was a little drowsy, but she also felt the urge to reciprocate. Provided her legs would support her long enough to take her back to the bed. She turned her head, kissed Alex's earlobe, and the hand on her breast tightened a little when she nipped at the brunette's earlobe.

"Let's go lie down. I know you have to go soon, but I want...I want one more thing."

Alex went, and they trailed water from the bathroom to the bed, where they fell into kissing and fondling. The sun was sinking past the horizon when Erin lifted her face from the crook of Alex's neck to look down into her eyes. She cupped the brunette's cheek, worried at her lower lip. Part of her feared disturbing the equilibrium between them, but one drawback of the Immediate Now was the fleeting nature of it.

"You're so beautiful." Her voice was soft, a little ragged, and Alex smiled up at her. They'd never spoken of the softer thing between them, not really, and maybe the passage of time was finally allowing for it. "Lovelier than ever."

Erin started to burn a path down the brunette's torso, stopping to blow hot breath on her breasts before nipping at the flesh of her stomach. The sound of Alex's breathing almost drowned out the noise the blonde's heart was making in her ears. It was entirely possible that this would end in tears as it had once before, come crashing down around them like a poorly constructed building. But it also might not.

The first touch of Erin's tongue had Alex putting the first knuckle of her right hand into her mouth, trying to stifle the noise. As if it would have mattered at that point. The heel of her left foot slipped uselessly against the sheet while the other found purchase on the blonde's back.

The tip of the blonde's nose bumped her clit, and Alex's breathing gradually became shallower and more rapid, and Erin took her time with what she was doing, because she wanted to replace the bad memories with good ones. Not being able to see the brunette's face, the growing strain in her expression as she eased her closer and closer to orgasm was more than made up for by the sensation of her body becoming coiled in preparation.

Alex was gasping, her hips rolling in time with her lover's ministrations, and if the past still lingered in her mind, it didn't matter right then. At all. She was whispering encouragement, her voice raspy as she fisted one hand into the sheet. Even if neither of them ever said the words out loud, they telegraphed it through touch.

The brunette cried out when she came, because Erin had added her hand to the proceedings, and the fingers inside her curled upwards deliberately, robbing her of her breath after the sharp sound had escaped from her throat. The blonde lapped at her eagerly, bringing her down from the high even as she savored the taste. When the crest had passed, she pressed her brow to the other woman's lower belly, hands finding purchase on her hips. She kissed her navel, dipped her tongue into the shallow depression. Alex laughed.

"Come up here."

They lay together as it got dark, and when the room was fully thrown into shadow, Erin's mouth brushed against Alex's bare shoulder. They could regret it later if it came to that, but in the sweat-damp aftermath the fit of the brunette's body against hers was enough to make the potential regret very much worth it.


End file.
